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2010-06-21T10:25:00.001-05:00

Entertain Me

2010-06-08T21:03:00.001-05:00

Recently, I've been thinking about my life. In particular, the area of my life dealing with entertainment. As I've been going through the Old Testament and reading about the kings and their servants I couldn't help but to think that I am falsely living like a king. I have subconsciously made my life about me. I obsess over the details of my life: what will I do tomorrow, what am I going to eat for breakfast, what classes am I taking next semester? I fail to obsess over the fact that a loving God has given me breath for today, that God has given me more than enough food to eat already, and that I have the privilege of learning about worship as my major.

I also feel as though I have a jester continuously performing for me to keep me entertained and distracted from my duties. I have television programming at the tip of my fingers where actors and actresses amuse me until I am bored with them. I have a vast music collection at my disposal as well, one that would probably be equal to what some people in other countries make in wages in nearly a decade. Instead, I hold up what I've got to the other kings and queens around me and decide that I am not that bad.

When did my life start crying "entertain me" instead of "may I become less so that You can become more"? Is it the media's fault for selling garbage that tells me that everything is about my personal convenience? Should I just go sell everything I have and give the profit to the poor and needy? How can I dare say that I am bored when I have books on the shelf, a guitar on its stand, and notebooks to write in?

I feel like I am being entertained by ridiculously frivolous things. I need to start living differently...

Kettle Corn, Finals, and The Dreaded White Glove

2009-12-14T21:43:00.000-05:00

I'm once again sitting at a table at the infamous Jazzman's Cafe in the computer lab. I'm marveling at the stark contrast I'm witnessing now compared to the first day of class. The once eager freshman has been burnt out by the papers and the projects that seem to creep into the syllabus near the end of each semester. The seniors are walking around with coffee in hand trying not to stress too much as they near the end of their college careers. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard "D means degree" this week...

The smell is completely different, too. The first day of class is usually perfume and cologne saturated. Now it's more of a pungent "I haven't done my laundry all week because of all these stupid assignments" kind of smell. This is mixed with the free kettle corn that Jerry Jr. has so kindly handed out as a finals gift to us. Is it weird that when it's not finals week, whenever I smell kettle corn, I feel anxiety? I like spring semester's free ice cream policy better. I don't know if I just enjoy searching for the ice cream trucks or if I legitimately like ice cream sandwiched between two pieces of chocolate flavored cardboard.

Finals week is always weird to me. It's strange brew of emotion between stress, relief, and excitement. The stress compounds as projects are due and finals are happening, but the relief of finishing it all is always poking its head out around the corner. The excitement seems to build as each final passes because you're just one less final away from home. The worst thing about finals week at LU though, is white glove check out.

For my friends who don't attend Liberty, we have to clean our rooms for a "white glove inspection" at the end of each semester. This can be more stressful than finals depending on what you've accumulated over the semester. I wish that our dorms came with a drain in the middle of the room so I could just take a pressure hose to the walls and be done with it. But no... white glove makes you clean places you didn't even know existed. Behind the light fixtures in your bathroom, on top of your shower curtain rod, under the window sill... these are all places that apparently will start growing alien fungus if you don't clean it before white glove check out. I'm always surprised at where my RA's can find dirt. Maybe I'll appeal to Liberty housing for the whole drain feature in the dorms...

Semester 5 is almost done... it's going to take all that I've got to not just stop caring. I pray that we can find strength in the Lord these last few days of exams. Run in a way to win the prize.

Have a great Christmas break!

Job and Jen

2009-11-17T07:58:00.001-05:00

I've recently been reading the book of Job because Job intrigues me. What intrigues me the most about Job at the beginning of the book is that he's so well rooted in his relationship with God that even though Satan attacked everything he owned and eventually Job himself, he was still going to praise God. The last verse in chapter one says that "In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing." I've been thinking to myself, "would I be like Job if everything I had was taken away from me? Would it be written down that I did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing?" I want to be this way in my life and I was praying for God to show me how to live my life in a continuous state of worship and then tonight happened.

Tonight we had our monthly ministry team meeting. It's where all of the groups from the Department of Ministry teams get together and worship, check on our progress reports, and also hear from various speakers. Our speakers tonight were Linda and Jen Barrick. I don't know if you know their story, but it deeply impacted me. The Barrick Family was involved in a car crash that should have killed them, but He has chosen to give them all life and they're using it to proclaim of the miracle of what happened and continues to happen in their lives. While I was listening to them talk about the many miracles that took place, I noticed that Jen's life showed this continuous state of worship that I have been wanting and through the testimony of her life God showed me a little bit of what it takes to achieve this. It's about forsaking the confidence I have in myself and getting on my knees daily to ask Him to show me what He wants me to see. While I'm on my knees, it's easier to take after the example that Christ set and wash the feet of those around me. The time I start to see life from the perspective of a servant is the time I will see life more the way it was intended for me to.

So Job and Jen have sparked this desire to change the way I'm living. Both were able to praise the Lord through all the junk that happened to them because they chose to surrender themselves before God before adversity hit. Am I willing to daily hit my knees and allow God to be my eyes for the day? Are you? May we grab hold of His vision for our lives and abandon those things that obstruct our sight of this.

Lord, here I am. I'm on my knees.
Change the way I'm living, please.
Here's my life. It's in Your hands.
My hopes. My dreams. My selfish plans.

Shake me. Break me. Take my shame.
Use it all to lift Your Name.
Set my eyes to gaze on You.
May you be pleased in all I do.

C'mon Seattle!

2009-11-02T11:21:00.002-05:00

So I've decided that the Seahawks have stopped trying to win. I think they might like being terrible so that there's no expectation for them to perform.

At least my Colorado Av's are doing alright....

I don't know why I posted this.

Oh, Liberty...

2009-09-28T13:10:00.002-05:00

My current setting: Jazzman's Cafe. I'm watching the line of caffeine addicted students file up to the register to order a fix of their favorite beverages. Some look happy (like class just got cancelled or something) and others look dead tired (like me, because I just got rocked by a bio exam and am ready to go to bed.) But something I've realized is that I love to observe what's going on around me up here at the Computer Lab/Jazzman's Cafe and through my "observations" I've noticed a few things that happen each time I come up here...

1.) People are constantly looking around to see if there's someone they know in the area. I can walk into a room and 40 heads immediately pop up from their computers to see if it's one of their friends. (And I'm pretty sure I've already looked up 25 times in the time it took me to write that.)

2.) People who sit on the sofa's rarely ever seem like they're doing work. They may have a book propped open, or a notebook out, but they're almost always just talking with each other... Although, I have seen a couple of guys take up an entire sofa and when they see a cute girl walking by they subtly scoot over. Smooth. Real smooth.

3.) There are 3 noticeable groups of people who use the computers up here. There's one group that isn't really using the computers, but they're just taking up 3 entire tables to have myspace open and be loud, there's the gamer kids who sit at the laptop stations with their headphones on playing World of Warcraft, and there's the kids who are frantic to find a computer so that they can print off an assignment that they had forgotten back at the dorm. (I know there are more groups, but I can always count on at least these 3 whenever I come into the CLAB.)

4.) There's always that guy who's flirting with girls way too loud. Don't be that guy. No one likes you.

5.) Accountability groups. There's ALWAYS accountability groups going on at Jazzman's. "Have you had your quiet time today? Yes? Good! Well lets get get some mocha and talk about boys for the next half hour."

Sidenote: Why do we call daily time with God "quiet time"? I mean, I'm sure that most of the time we're quiet while we reflect on the things we've learned, but what about private worship in which we sing and read scripture aloud?... would that be considered "quiet time"?... what if I listen to Carson Wagner's "Rhapsody in Blue" while I read the Bible? Would that then disqualify my Bible reading for the day, forcing me to read Scripture in silence?

... anyway, I could go on... but I'll spare you. I'm going to go see if there's anyone in this place that I know. K, bye.

Axe, Freshman, and Girls

2009-08-24T10:23:00.004-05:00

Oh yes, the first day back to school. It has a distinct smell that is hard to shake even after it's over. In a sense that smell is literal (the freshman who bathe in it before going to class for the first time with "college girls"), but in a different sense it's almost like a tangible excitement that just permeates the campus. Whether it's upperclassman finding their old friends in the hallways or the freshman looking for t a friend in the hallways, it's just an exciting time to be here.

I'm currently sitting in the laptop section of the computer lab trying to figure out where my classes are. As of now I only have two classes on Monday, a first since I've been at school. Usually by this time I would have already had a class or two, eaten almost two meals and had at least one cup of Jazzman's coffee. I almost don't even know what to do with myself since I've got an hour in between convo and my next class. I guess I could go meet some of those bright eyed freshmen who are wandering around the halls trying to figure out where DeMoss 1113 is.

Or I could just sit here...

This year holds a lot of interesting things for me. For one, I'll be turning 21 in less than a month. Two, I'm trying out a fantasy football league thing for the first time ever. Three, I'm living in a hotel, the one on Odd Fellows Road. I like it so far, and hopefully it stays that way. It's weird 'cause there are girls on the second and third floors. I guess that's not so weird, but I'm so accustomed to Liberty's male dorm thing that I kind of freak out a little when a girl walks down the hall to get to the staircase. I feel like I'm in third grade a lot when there are girls around the dorm and in my mind I'm saying "No! Forbidden!" Maybe I'll get over my fear of girls this year too... or maybe I'll be more frightened. After reading Twilight, I'm not any less scared.

Well, I'm about to go and get some coffee and wake up. Here's to another school year at LU...

Hosea and Me

2009-08-21T22:05:00.002-05:00

I've been reading in Hosea lately and I cannot get over the first 3 chapters. Hosea is basically the man, and through his story I'm learning more and more about how I fall short of where I need to be.

Hosea is faced with an intense command from God. Chapter 1, verse 2 says this: "When the Lord began to speak through Hosea, the Lord said to him, 'Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the Lord." I don't know what I'd do in this situation. Take for myself an adulterous wife? Really? But since Hosea is the man, he obeys God and marries this girl named Gomer. I don't know what her parents were thinking when they named her this... but whatever.

Chapter 2 talks about Israel and how adulterous it has been to God. There is some pretty harsh language towards Israel throughout this entire chapter and it seems pretty grim for the Israelites at this point. But this is where the story gets interesting: the start of chapter 3.

The Lord then says to Hosea "Go show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adultress. Lover her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes." Even through Israel's total deprivation in sin and turning to anything but God, He still loves them. He tells Hosea to do the same for his wife. Hosea searches out his wife and finds her immersed in sin to the point of being put on auction for other men. He looks at her with love and buys her back for 15 shekels of silver and asks her to come live with him again for "many days". Hosea takes his wife back even after she has openly and freely given herself away to other men. What a picture of redemption this gives us!

It says in Exodus 21:32 that the price for a slave is 30 shekels, so in essence, Hosea's wife here is being sold for half the price of a slave. She is cheapened so much that she is being sold for next to nothing practically. But Hosea still sees worth in her. To me, this gives me great hope because I am worth less than Hosea's wife. I have cheapened myself so much by sin that I am worth next to nothing, but Jesus Christ loved His bride enough to come and not only buy us for half to the price of a slave, but He came down and saw us in our nakedness and shame and adultery and decided to give His LIFE for us. I'm chosen to be His, and I can think of no one greater to serve than Someone like that.

May we realize this and grab hold of Christ's extended arm that's buying us back from adulterous slavery. And may we live with Him for "many days" learning through the words that He's spoken through the Bible.

I'm ready to start preparing the bride for the Bridegroom's return.

A Non-Seriously Serious Post

2009-08-12T14:18:00.002-05:00

List of Awesome things:
- Cheesy scary movies
- Sleeping in a bed
- Growing Pains (the TV show, not the pains you get from growing.)
- Chocolate milk
- New car tires
- You
- Kyle Cumming's CD "The Interstate"
- Spending all summer traveling with cool guys and playing music

List of Not-Awesome things:
- Hip-hop music so loud it hurts my body
- 98 degree weather (however, 98 Degrees the band might be a different story...)
- People who scream a lot
- Twilight (sorry. It was so hard to finish reading for me.)
- Forgetting what you were about t........

ANYWAY, I'm in Wilson, North Carolina right now just hanging out for the next couple of days before Ministry Team training camp starts. I'm looking forward to getting back to a routine.

Kthxbye.

Genuine

2009-07-28T19:46:00.001-05:00

Culture force feeds us a false idea of satisfaction. We are told by the shows that we watch and the music that we listen to that sex and wealth can gratify our needs, but it only seems to fuel itself and perpetuate a stronger desire for those things. Once the smell of those things reaches our nostrils the idols of our stomach cry out to be fed. The funny thing is that we (Christians) think we can subside the stomach pain by teasing it with a little bit of what it’s calling out for. “Maybe if I go that one website just this once my desire for lust will dissipate.” What a backwards way of thinking.

Maybe we should fill our sense of smell with the sweet aroma of the Word of God. Maybe if we did this our stomachs desire would change from the filth and garbage that we wave in front of our faces daily and start to crave that which it was intended for. And maybe, just maybe, if we were to feed on Scripture the church would look drastically different; the hands and feet of Christ might finally have the strength to move forward and make a difference.

May you begin to fill yourself with the beauty of God’s Word. May we, the church, the body of Christ, hold up what we are taught and hold it up to the Light and see if it is genuine or counterfeit.

Dancing and Applause

2009-07-22T00:31:00.003-05:00

*I just re-posted this because I didn't like the inconsistent font between this post and my others... so.. yeah..*

I think God taught me a little more about worship these past few weeks and I want to get my thoughts down on paper (or pixilated screens) before it gets lost in the small mundane thoughts of my life.

We lead worship last Sunday morning for the youth at Northstar Church in Atlanta, GA (Lauren Boyd’s church) and for the next couple of days we were able to be a part of their youth outreach program called “Leap” where they go out into the community and serve in the name of Jesus Christ. The place we went on Monday was a youth center in an apartment complex. It was kind of like a Christian daycare almost. At this youth center, the kids are broken up into 4 or 5 groups and in each they did a different activity. I chose to go to the “Human Video” class, which was pretty much interpretive dance for 2 hours. It was one of the most memorable things I’ve done all summer. Not only for the fact that I, Jesse Phillips, did interpretive dance for 2 hours, but also for the fact that the children that were in that class left a huge impact on me. One kid named CJ loved the fact that a “big kid” would come hang out and dance with them and he taught me all the dance moves to “Shackles” by Mary, Mary. Another girl who was too shy to tell me her name taught me the dance for “Potters Hand.” It wasn’t a super spiritual “I can see Jesus in all of their faces” moment, but it was a time where God used the kids to let down my guard in a sense, and just worship in a way that I don’t think I would normally have even thought of.

That night we attended a service at First Baptist Woodstock that was called “Prime.” It happens once a month and is geared towards college aged kids. Something that the worship leader said at the very beginning of the service that was very thought-provoking for me was something to the effect of “let us lay down our own agenda of what we want to sing to God and rather focus on what God wants us to sing to Him.” I wish I could remember the exact quote, but that’s the general gist of it. At that moment, I felt conviction that I have always focused on what I want to sing to God rather than what He wants me to sing. Whenever a worship song that I’m not too fond of comes up in the set-list it seems as though I give God my half-hearted worship, but when a song that I enjoy comes up I feel more inclined to raise my hands. What a hypocritical way to worship! That’s me saying that the worship is about me rather than about Jesus.
A few days ago we were in Summerton, SC playing for Hickory Grove Baptist Church’s youth camp. It was a great experience and I think God really used this one particular night to encourage me to worship Him in a deeper sense. I don’t remember which night it was, but on the 2nd or 3rd night the rain just started coming down in torrents. The room that we were gathered in to worship and hear from the speaker started to take in water. The ceiling was leaking in a few spots and water was coming in through the backdoors on both sides of the room. The adult leaders were cleaning up the mess during our worship set and for some reason I had one of those moments where it felt like time just stopped. The rain clapped onto the tin rooftop and it sounded like thunderous applause. God was receiving a standing ovation from the rain falling down on that roof. I felt at that moment the Holy Spirit teaching me to let God reign down in my life so that He could get a standing ovation from what was going on in my heart.

I think it’s about time I lay myself at the altar and give God my undivided worship. Worship that is not based on how I’m feeling, a song that’s being played, or an atmosphere, but rather worship that is as unstoppable as a rain storm, clapping with fervency at the amazing work that God has done.

Exodus Update: Mobile

2009-06-12T23:55:00.000-05:00

There must be something in the water here in Mobile, AL. Something really good. Something like... the Holy Spirit.

I have been greatly challenged by the youth here in Mobile to get my act together and worship unhindered by pride. Each youth group we have lead worship for here have been so passionate in their worship that I have felt embarrassed by my lack of zeal for singing praise to God. I don't believe that passion is just manifested in physical form with hands lifted high, but I do believe that some of what's in your heart should infiltrate your physical response to what is being sung. I have seen youth raise their hands during the lyric "so we raise up holy hands, to praise the Holy One", dance during the lyric "the redeemed have come to dance", and shout for joy during the lyric "make a joyful noise to the Lord all the earth." I think I've been learning about response in worship a lot during this tour.

The devotions of the leaders here in Mobile have been penetrating my heart as well. One youth leader spoke about sponges and how when you stick a sponge in water it becomes saturated with that water. The water infiltrates every pour of the sponge and when you squeeze the sponge, whatever was soaked up in it will come out. Matthew 12:34 reinforces this in saying that the overflow of our hearts come out in speech. I have a confession to make: I'm not soaking in the word of God like I should be. I have not been writing the words of Christ on my heart by memorizing them. How different would I look if I soaked in Scripture instead of pop-culture? I think I would look drastically different. In a good way too. Not to bash pop-culture though, I do believe this has its place in our society (especially in being able to relate to non-believers) but at the same time, I know that I spend to much time revelling in things that are not of God.

I believe that God is moving strongly here in Mobile. I believe that He brought me here to teach me more about worship. I also believe that this has the potential to affect the world we live in. May I never forget what God has taught me here. And may you beging to saturate yourself in the words of Jesus Christ. May you become immersed in the Word so that when the world grips you tightly and tries to suffocate you, what overflows is Holy.

Luke 6:45 - "The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart the mouth speaks."

Hey Thanks, Peter...

2009-05-30T22:52:00.006-05:00

I was reading 2 Peter today and something shook my soul. I was a little fearful that chapter 2 might have been talking about me. Peter writes about false prophets and teachers of destructive heresy because many will follow their "shameful ways" and "will bring the way of truth into disrepute." I couldn't help but to think of how I am somewhat of a 'teacher' of true worship to the congregations that I play music for with the Sounds of Liberty. Am I teaching a false gospel by the way I live behind the stage? Are the kids that I'm going to be in contact with this summer traveling with Exodus going to hear me preach a message of hypocrisy or a message of Truth through my behavior?

What about you? What message are you preaching with the way you live?

Verse 10 of chapter 2 mentions those who follow the desires of the sinful nature, despise authority, are bold and arrogant... in many different ways I fall into each of these categories. These kinds of people bring "disrepute" to the name of the Lord. I had to look up the word disrepute to even know what it meant, but it means "the state of being held in low esteem." Our behavior as followers of Christ can cause others to look on the name of Jesus with low esteem.. what a huge responsibility we have then, as followers of Christ to hold his name up with high esteem and live in a way that is worthy of the Name we represent on Earth.

The ending chapter of 2 Peter states that Peter wrote this letter as a reminder to stimulate us to wholesome thinking. I'd encourage you to read this book... it has certainly stimulated my mind to revert back to thinking soberly.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. - Philippians 4:8

Change, Kingship, Frustration

2009-04-17T10:25:00.005-05:00

I'm sitting in the computer lab at Liberty University right now after just hearing the daughter of Martin Luther King Jr. speak at convocation. I should be doing an assignment for my History and Philosophy of Worship class, but instead I'm drawn into the conversation that is going on behind me. There are 4 or 5 students (I don't know the exact number because I don't want to awkwardly turn around) and they are discussing a variety of different things (who's dating who, finals coming up, etc.) but the their discussion continues to come back to the words that we heard from Bernice King this morning. And quite frankly, it's disturbing me.

Let me explain...

Dr. Bernice King spoke today about Kingship, and how as children of the King of kings we are to live lives as kings and take authority over things that we have influence over. She referenced President Obama several times and made similarities between him and God ("God spoke this world into existence, and Obama spoke his presidency into existence.") Obama's campaign slogan "Change" is apparently a revelation from God for us to repent, and she says that it is sad that the Christian community wasn't able to cling on to this before the election. She likens Obama's presidency to the Promised Land since her dad represents "Moses" and his 40th death anniversary parallels the 40 years the Israelites spent in the desert. Some things that she said like this bothered me, but other things I believe had merit. She mentioned that we need to be willing to take a stand against morals that are not biblical even when those people are your loved ones (like she did in 2004 when her mother took a stance to support the gay and lesbian community). Overall, I believe that she had a lot of good things to say, as well as some unbiblical things to say (like her dad being the only national prophet that america has ever had.) But moreso than what she said, what the Liberty students behind me are saying bothers me just as much.

"She's friggin' retarded", "I wanted to punch her in the freakin' face", and "She looked like she had a headache at the beginning and it might've been, like, God trying to smite her" are just a few of the phrases that the fabulous 4 (or 5) have been tossing around in this convocation rebuttal. They have criticized everything about Bernice, from her hair style to her voice. It seems to me that their critical analysis of what happened earlier is every bit as disturbing to me as what the speaker said today if not more so.

I've been reading "The Unlikely Disciple" (since it's pretty much the 'new thing' on campus to do) and it's behavior like that of those behind me that line the pages of that book with colorful characters that shock even me, as an evangelical Christian. Not to say that I am a perfect Liberty student that has never given the name of Christ or Liberty a bad rap, because through reading this book I have felt much conviction about similar things that I have done that could have caused a non-believer to think that I am no different morally than most of his friends at secular school. I'm just frustrated that we cannot evalute critically what is being spoken to us without pulling apart more than just the falsity of the words. It's been my expereince more than once after convocation where someone will attack a person rather than their words.

I guess Liberty can be a tough crowd.

Please know this though, this post is not intended to bash Liberty or its students (or Bernice King for that matter either.) I am typing this up so that we can all realize that we do need to analyze what is being said and filter it through the Bible and if it's not true, we need to make sure to take note of that, but we also need to analyze our own speech and filter that through Scripture and see if what we are saying is meritted through it.

Well, it's nearly noon... I should probably get a few minutes of work into that project before lunch.

Encouragement.

2009-03-23T22:28:00.001-05:00

This weekend was phenomenal.

I had the privilege of playing at the Brooklyn Tabernacle in New York with Sounds of Liberty this weekend. I have been refreshed spiritually as a result of this trip. From the moment we stepped foot on the campus to the moment we left it I knew that the Holy Spirit was moving. The way the congregation worshiped there was unlike anything I had ever seen out of a western church. I felt as though the crowd understood the words of each of the songs and as a result sang them unto God with full meaning and comprehension. I'm guilty of making songs habit too much, I need to analyze the lyrics I'm singing and use them fresh and anew each time I sing them to God. The best thing about it was that Jesus Christ was glorified center stage the whole time. I never felt like the choir, the pastor, the worship leaders, or anyone else was trying to take the glory for anything, but rather they were leading God's people in worship that was really in spirit and in truth. What a great experience!

Another thing I wanted to mention to you guys is this little blog that my dad has for his non-profit organization. It's a blog that he posts every now and then about what goes on in the Philippines, and I have felt much encouragement and conviction from reading it. If you're looking for a ministry to pray for or support, I would challenge you to look into this organization.

http://globalwarmthblog.wordpress.com

and

http://www.globalwarmth.org

In Touch With Out of Touch

2009-01-14T21:23:00.004-05:00

I've come to hate something: my little facebook world. I have become so non-personal with people because I think I already know what's going on in their lives. Status updates have become all that I feel the need to read to feel like I'm in touch with people. I may occasionally look at some pictures, or read a few notes, but I think I've become so stretched out socially that I don't invest my time into people anymore. And for this I apologize. It needs to change.

In other news: 2009 brings a lot of challenge for me. I have decided that I need to do a few things to better myself as a person. And they are as follows:

1.) Be surrounded by positive people.
- It seems that whenever I am surrounded by people that complain, I take on the same attitude with nearly everything that's going on in my life. I look at things pessimistically when I hear negative conversation. I need to be more positive...

2.) Read More
- This goes for my Bible and other books in general. I only read my text books and sometimes I don't even fully finish those... Reading can help me to learn so much more and grow mentally.

3.) Witness More
- I feel like the only times I witness are those times I'm on mission in the Philippines. It's easy there for me. It's a comfort zone that I should have everywhere, but I don't. I need to break myself of this and thrust myself into the spiritual warzone here in the States.

4.) Set Goals
- I never seem to set goals that work because they're always so far away. "I eventually want to do this..." or "In the future I'd like to make this happen..." I want to make those goals shorter term and be able to actually work some of them out.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm tired of mediocrity. I would love for you to join me in this fight against being average and if you're willing to fight with me, let me know.

Now off to read. I feel better already...

Merry Christmas?

2008-12-25T00:06:00.004-05:00

So here it is. Christmas. There are two firsts for me this Christmas:

1.) It's the first Christmas of my 20's.. and
2.) It's the first Christmas without my family.

I'll admit, I was kind of depressed that I would be spending Christmas half a world a way from my family. Hearing of all the wonderful Christmas plans that my friends had made with their families caused me to sulk in my loneliness for a while. It seemed at every turn there was a family enjoying a meal, or a commercial with a family eating Christmas dinner. Christmas this year seemed like it was just going to fall short of being Christmas...

As the clock struck twelve (Christmas), I read aloud Matthew 1 as I played my guitar slowly. I actually got excited reading the genealogy of Jesus for the first time. As the names got closer and closer to Jesus I started to play harder and read louder. By the time I got to verse 14 I could no longer hold back, I shouted that Azor was the father of Zadok, and Zadok the father of Akim, and Akim the father of Eliud, Eliud the father of Eleazar, Eleazar the father of Matthan! Jesus was coming soon! I continued on almost sweating: Matthan the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Joseph, the husband of Mary, of whom was born JESUS, who is called Christ!

My hair stood on end as I read verse 21: "She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." THIS is the first Christmas that I've truly reflected on that. Jesus was born into this world so that He could take our punishment. I would encourage you to reflect on that. I don't know who you are reading this, you may have just stumbled on this randomly, or you may be a close friend. Either way, may you be transformed by the love of Jesus Christ this Christmas season.

Christmas Break

2008-12-19T00:19:00.003-05:00

As Christmas draws nearer I've been thinking more and more about getting away for a few days and just camping. I don't know if this desire has sprouted from my immediate family being half a world away or if it's just my masculine side telling me to get out and live life in the wilderness for a while. It seems that I'm surrounded by concrete so often and that everything is man-made. It would be great to be in the woods reflecting on how marvelous God's creation is for once... I think that I may just do this with Josh the weekend after Christmas. It'll be rock and roll.

In other news, I actually cooked lunch for people other than myself today. Roberts family was brave enough to let me do it, so I prepared chicken adobo (filipino goodness). It looked like this:

It worked out though, I think. No one threw up at least...

Wow. So I Have A Blogger Account?

2008-12-15T20:28:00.003-05:00

I totally didn't realize that I had a blogger.

Nor did I realize that I've already posted TWICE on it. Maybe I'll post more often? I don't know... regardless, I wanted to share something I realized this week: I need to engage the lost around me more.

I realized this when I was at the Jacksonville Jaguars game with Robert on Sunday. My warm and fuzzy, Christian bubble that Liberty University has so wonderfully crafted around me was rudely popped by a wave of alcoholic tinted screams of profanity hurled from Jags fans behind me towards any and every member of the Green Bay Packers. I started to count the different profanities that I heard and quickly realized that it was futile because I can only count so high. I even witnessed a man with his child almost get into a fight with someone in front of him. I don't know what it was about, but they were throwing every cuss word imaginable at one another.

I became very uncomfortable.

This is what gets me though... I did not reflect Christs love upon them. Rather, I cast judgment in my mind. Instead of talking to these people, I kept my mouth shut and my eyes focused on what was on the field, creating my own set of blinders to what was going on around me. What would've happened if I had reached out to these people and met them where they were at instead of hiding in my shell and retreating from the world? I'm not really implying that the buzzed guy next to me would've become a preacher if I had just been nice to him, and I'm not really saying that anything would've changed at all. But maybe, just maybe, if I had acted in the way Christ would have, someone would have notice the Light.

So, I guess what I'm getting at with all of this is we need to be Christians that stand up in the midst of culture and meet people where they're at. I'm pretty unhappy about the way I've met adversity and that needs to change.

To Run or Not To Run.

2007-01-17T20:24:00.001-05:00

It's 36 degrees outside right now and it's raining. Hard. I'm supposed to run today but I'm highly considering staying inside where my chances of survival are much higher. Running in the rain is fun, but when you have to run in rain that's at almost freezing temperatures... completely different story.

Which brings me to my rant: I hate the fact that water is still the substance that falls from the sky at 36 degrees. Why can't snow just round up to the nearest hundred or something? It's not like snow has any children to tend to while he's off duty. I'm angry at snow for not showing up more often, it's like he doesn't even care. Children have school to be cancelled. I have snowballs to make and out in my freezer so that when summer comes the little children won't know what hit 'em. There are snow forts to be made, ice skating to be had, snow angel's that are begging to be formed. Have you ever gone outside when it snowed with a giant bottle of juice and started to make your own snowcones? It's awesome. Especially when it's grape juice and people who walk by see this huge purple spot of snow. It's also fun to make lemonaide snow cones so that people freak when they see you actually eating yellow snow. My friends parents actually tried to stop me one year because they thought it was pee. I put it in my mouth and ran. Poor people probably still think I ate pee that day....

It's my review time: Today I will review the music CD "Moonbabies" by Planet X. Formed by two members of the Steve Vai band and former keyboardist of Dream Theater, Planet X is the kind of band that makes you want to throw up out of excitment. Their music is a blend of jazz fusion, progressive rock, and magical amazingness. I would highly suggest it to anyone looking for music that's not aimed at the "I'm a pre-teen that's depressed and I'm looking for a girlfriend but nobody will love me because of my ridiculous hair and bad taste in fashion but at least I love MCR whatever that stands for! RAWR!"

BingbongBEEDAH! That's the sound of the Person of the Day award. For my first ever person of the day award I choose: Abigail Smith Adams. That's right, wife of our 2nd President and mom of our 6th. Without this woman we would have NOT had a sixth President. By her begatting John Quincy, we laid ground work for democracy by allowing this country to have a 6th President instead of not having any President at all. Without a President we could have very well become a nation of anarchists and punk rock lovers. Oy. Oy. Oy vey. So thank you Abigail Smith Adams, without you we'd all be "misfits".

That concludes today's entry. Check tomorrow to see if I'm clinging to life by a snot bubble after my run. Bye.

So it starts...

2007-01-17T20:24:00.000-05:00

Writing has always been something that I've done. Whether for my private viewing or for public audiences, I love to write. So I've decided that my random nonsense will be posted on this site from now on. My other journal (http://jesseboyguydude.livejournal.com) will be designated my spiritual journal where I'll post my deeper thoughts and insights on more serious topics. This blog however will pretty much be ridiculous, somewhat amusing, easy to read, and crazy delicious.

I will try to update this everyday. If I don't... go suck on a lemon or something. They taste amazing. Seriously.

Until tomorrow my dear children, don't eat too much grease fire. It gives you heart burn.